A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair,He Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.
A real man has at least three suits (with a mandatory pinstriped one) that cost more than a roomful of escorts. A real man wears a suit at least three times a week. Any man who doesn't know how to tie a tie should hand in his testicoli immediately.
Have you ever been inside the boss’ house? There ain’t no pizza boxes sitting around, there ain’t no undershirts on the floor, and there sure as hell ain’t no unpaid bills being used as beer coasters. No ruler can rule over a territory if he isn’t already the master of his own home.
This means you lazy pinheads out there need to stop using machismo as an excuse to live like a bottom-feeder; keep your sty spotless, keep your documents in order and — listen up on this one — clean your freaking suits.
See what you've done? I'm turning into freaking Moses over here. Here's the last trait of a real man...